Anytime I want to write a longer message to someone I personally don’t know there always

comes question „how to start?”. I’m rather straight to the point than unclear. I believe that being a student is a time when you crave spontaneity, new friendship, going to lecture hall, drinking great coffee and having fun.

Don’t you feel like Covid took it all without asking ?

The pandemic has started in December 2019 and goes on till this day. It is petrifying how it changed the world forever. Thinking about this gives me chills, I have got close relation with medial staff and loads of fear. People are reckless and disappointing on many surfaces such as hygiene and putting on a mask. I was so conscious about going out in a day so I started doing my groceries in the evening before the shop is closing. I didn’t visit my parents and sister for Easter, Christmas or their birthday. Through the months I did some stocks of antibacterial gels, masks and gloves. The begging was the worst due to lack of knowledge and unpreparedness. The hardest thing was to be around people knowing that we can spread the virus, we took the risk and stated to live with it.

The whole thing with keeping distance wasn’t so difficult for me personally, I’m an introvert so some behaviors were kept the way they were. I didn’t have a very urgent need to have someone to talk to about my feelings outside my closest friends. I was perfectly happy with living with my better half and having each other to support in good and bad times. It was arduous proces to accept the loneliness and lack of warm hugs from loved ones.

That was what I mainly felt the loneliness, I was very much supported and had great comfort of living. I didn’t loose my job, my parent didn’t either till last month when my mom got the termination of employment.

I reckon that my way of dealing with difficulties is through yoga, long walks in the woods and music, being kind and understanding, listening to what we feel and asking why I actually am feeing this way. In my opinion the inside gives us a lot of sings of how we coop with stressful situations. In my weakest moment my better half was and still is my strongest support, my back my love. People we love give us the energy, passion, new view and so much love back for being for them, always being for each other.

I always have emotional blanket around me, whether that is a specialist or loved one.
Being so open about getting it and coming into the details is too much for me, that’s privacy. If I need help I know on which doors to knock. During the pandemic it was essential for me to speak up when I felt down. I still feel like I don’t have to explain myself but sometimes it is better to just let the conversation go it’s way and let somebody understand our state of mind.

Im not a spiritual person in religious way, I prefer to be free from frames. If somebody need help in their faith in themselves then I am here for them. I am 21 years old and very much experienced with any type of feeling, I understand without judging, I listened to my friends, I have been giving them courses to get benefits from.

Usually in Poland there is no free help besides the helpline, it is disturbing. I tried to get information about profesional help but it still has to be paid, free profesional help comes with waiting in virtual queue for 2-3 years.

The Pandemic thought me how important it is to be independent from anybody, how to always first take care of myself because I’m an adult despite being student and somebody daughter, parents also have their responsibilities. My friend’s parents promised her to financially support her through the studying years unfortunately they have lost their jobs, she didn’t have any savings so she borrowed money from her sibling. She wasn’t prepared and her parent weren’t either. Now she is working most of the days in the week and have no time for herself, her parent are getting social support but none of this money goes to my friend. She is on her own now and pretty much depressed.
We were behind the schedule almost 2 months, we helped each other but our personal live is neglected, pandemic is the most stressful time for me as a friend.

Being selfish in a healthy dose is my priority now. Struggling with not being able to help as much due to the distance got me in vicious circle. When I am around my family I can do the groceries,

mop the flor, do the dishes etc. Now I know that it is okay not to be able to help, It is nobody’s fault. The vaccine was my golden ticket to hug my small sister on her 18th birthday, I was more then grateful to get vaccine before her birthday. I try to appreciate the small things and teach other to do the same, buying a notebook help me and my sister too, but other than that I have tied arms. I love to have a schedule and write down my emotions as a reminder of my state of mind, write good thing that happened to me the same day, put on paper all my list of things of what to do that day, focusing on goals but also enjoying the whole road to it. Letting my self be free and confident about my ideas of relaxing or taking care of my self.

My only advise to you is to think out side the box during pandemic and try to figure out „the fear” don’t let it slow you and yours dreams down.

Best wishes.